Slightly Shocking
by Scottea
Summary: There comes times when all must look inside themselves and face their own fears and times when they must help others face their fears. Thanks to Paramount for letting my play with their toys.
1. Chapter 1

James Kirk looked at the form that he was to fill in. When filled it as per regulations it would be exact, detailed, informative, and have reduced his officer to just another statistic. There was no space on the form to mention what the atmosphere on the ship had been. It did not allow for any mention of the feelings of the crew about the incident. Just the facts of the event and the date of transfer and facility transferred to.

Without hesitation he said, "Enter." as soon has he heard his door chime. He did not care who it was as it would mean not having to deal with the report.

Lieutenant Uhura stood across from him and he could see from her stance she was in total officer mode, "Sir, as per Starfleet regulations I am requesting transfer off the Enterprise should Officer Darren Lane be sent to a Starfleet medical facility on a long-term basis. I request this for both professional and personal reasons. This is the formal verbal indication of my intentions that I am required to give you. I shall send you my written request within the stated twenty-four standard hours."

"Uhura, I," as he looked at her he could tell she had recovered from the shock of the situation and that she was now determined, "I hear you."

Without a word she left. So often he had seen her talking and singing with Officer Lane that it had not surprised him that she would react like this but he was sure there was more. There was obviously more even than could stem from the events on the bridge. There was also more than them just being fellow Communications Officers. Lane had far more skills and experience than Uhura yet always treated her as the senior officer and was content to help out in other areas around the ship when needed.

Again he looked at the form he had to fill in. There was no space for anything about the person. All strictly formula, sameness, soulless. Twice he got up and walked around his quarters trying to put the events into order and removing his own feelings from what had happened. He was trained for this, he had been tested on filling out forms as detailed as this so many times they should be routine, he had been through it before, signing crew off the ship. He had to think of it as just another form in just another test. He had to think of Officer Darren Lane as just another number being deleted. Slowly he felt himself calming and sat down. He just had to think of it as just another member of the crew being transferred.

No, his mind screamed, not transferred, left behind. Abandoned. Made expendable.

No, not like this. Nothing like this. He had never, never before been so helpless, so furious, so afraid, and so totally unsure of what to do about a situation all at the same time. All his training, all his experiences, all the many encounters with other life forms had not prepared him for what took place.

Again his door chime sounded and Chief Engineer Scott walked in which was most unusual, "Scotty?"

"I, I need ta stay at the next medical facility for about a year, Sir. You will find I have more than that amount of leave accumulated and there are things on the facility I can be doing I can nae do on the ship." The Engineer had not looked away from him and had tried to look into him. Kirk could see the determination and he was sure he knew the reasoning.

"May I ask if this has anything to do with Officer Darren Lane?"

"You may ask. As I said, there are things I can be doing there I can nae do on the ship."

"Understood." Without breaking eye contact Kirk added, "I hear you, Scotty."

Once the Chief Engineer left Kirk momentarily wondered if any other of those who had been on the Bridge would find a reason to stay behind. Every one of those on the bridge at the time had seen what happened, had been touched by the entity, had felt just a bit of the pain that the entity could inflict, and had realized how totally powerless and helpless they were. Well, Kirk looked at the form again, at the name, not all of them had been powerless. Touched? Touched, he almost laughed. So many times they had encountered and been touched by different entities but this had been more than just being touched by an unknown entity, this had been an attack. An attack. He let out a long slow breath as he again looked at the report. All those present had to know he had no option. He had to follow procedure.

Procedure? What procedures? Where had those procedures been just twenty hours ago? He paced back and forth around the semi-circle enclosing his desk. There had been nothing in his past experience, in his training, in anything he had read or heard about that had prepared him in any way for what had happened. There were procedures as to what he had to do afterwards in set situations. Where were those procedures for this encounter? When he had first heard that Spock and McCoy were going to be fine but there was a likelihood of having to transfer Lane off the ship he had quickly checked through the regulations regarding medical discharges. Nothing that related to this situation. In his mind he heard that beloved baritone voice whisper, " _Nothing that relates to **THIS** situation._ "

He stopped pacing and looked at his computer. Slowly he sat down and, this time, carefully read thoroughly through all the regulations regarding medical discharges. Like the first time he had looked at them he saw nothing he could relate to it. Again in the silence that baritone voice seemed to talk to him, " _As there are no regulations **you must do what you think and feel is right.** "_

His intercom buzzed and he almost welcomed it,"Kirk here."

"Sulu here, Captain." Kirk closed his eyes, waiting for another request to take leave at the next base. "Estimated time of arrival at Starbase Nine is one hundred and seventy-six standard hours."

"Thank you, Sulu. Kirk out."

One hundred and seventy-six standard hours. Kirk shook his head, Sulu had been around Spock too long to say that instead of just over a standard week. Maybe in that time he would have finished the report. He knew he just needed to think more about it. It, the report about Officer Lane as he did not want to think what had happened.

Slowly he walked from his quarters to Sickbay. He knew if there had been any change he would have been contracted but he felt he had to be there. There and away from the damnable report.

As he approached the entry to Sickbay Chekov was leaving and walk over to him, "Mister Spock and Doctor McCoy are both sleeping, Sir."

Kirk nodded, "Officer Lane?"

"There has been no change since it, they left. Uhura says he knows if he is alone but, but Sir, they, they hurt him too much for him to know." It was there, that controlled fury Kirk knew the man had in him. He could almost hear his officer's unsaid " ** _Cossacks!_** "

All Kirk could do was nod. He had not missed how Chekov indicated that he also believed whatever had invaded the bridge was more than a singular entity, was more of a collective.

Doctor M'Benga stopped him almost as soon as he walked into Sickbay and indicated the small office. Once they were in it and he had sat down M'Benga said, "While Spock is in a Vulcan healing trance I have Leonard in an induced coma to make him sleep. They will both make full recoveries as whatever it was seemed to direct its powers more at Officer Lane as soon as he drew its attention to him. It appears whatever it was just sort of gave you and the others shocks but was trying to find something in their minds but was stopped before it did any real damage. If he had not reacted as he did I think we both know the outcome. I will start a report in a few minutes with my recommendations as to his placement in a full medical facility. Leonard will, of course, be the one with the final say as to which facility but I will make a few inquiries first."

"Can you," Kirk looked for a moment at the floor then back at the man, "Can you leave it for a bit longer?"

"Captain, whatever that thing was it has damaged Officer Lane beyond any known medical treatment currently available. It seems that thing did not like being challenged as what was done to him far outweighs any of the mind-probing we have encountered in the past. He is on full backup support and,"

"Backup support?" Kirk stood and looked into the intensive care unit and at the figure on the bed, noticing a crew member beside the bed as well. It strangely relieved him to see another officer sitting in there with him, it reminded him of how this was more than a crew, it was a family.

"At the moment he is breathing on his own, his heart is beating on its own but he is connected to the backup unit so that should either or both stop there is support immediately there. It is most likely how he will live the rest of his life, Sir unless we find instruction in his records that he does not wish to continue like that."

"Is he in,"

"He is totally unresponsive, Sir. If we were to have the volume notification of the pain register turned on we would all be deaf as his is at the maximum, actually he is fractionally above the known level of sustained tolerance. Something is holding him here. Something is making him fight. Lieutenant Uhura has told me not to tell him that Spock and Leonard are going to be fine, I can say they are in Sickbay but I am not to mention their condition. She seems to think that is what is keeping him here, the not knowing they are both going to be fine. She believes that he is still there and is waiting for something or someone to help him to either come back, which is bordering on delusional thinking, or to let go as they are safe. I tried to explain to her,"

"Do as she says. Please, do as she says. McCoy once told me that nobody knows for sure if patients in conditions similar to the one he is in are aware of anything or not and I believe, like Uhura, that there could be the possibility that if he is aware and thinks there is any risk to either of them he will hold on till he knows they are safe."

"With all due respect, Sir, you must know that he,"

"What I do know, Doctor M'Benga, is that there are many things we mere humans, and many other species, as well as doctors, do not know. I saw what happened to that officer; I watched while it was being done to him, I saw what he did to draw its attention from Spock and McCoy, how he fought for us against something I am sure had never been beaten, saw how it toyed with him, and witnessed how his actions clearly stunned it. If Lieutenant Uhura believes that he knows then he knows until you can prove to me beyond any doubt whatsoever that he does not."

"Understood, Sir." The doctor looked at him for a minute then said, "You can go in and see them. Just be prepared if you go see Officer Lane as the pain he is in is obvious."

For just a few minutes Kirk stood just looking at his two closest friends and tried not to remember how he had seen whatever it was that had invaded the bridge had attacked first Spock and then Bones when McCoy had gone to the Vulcan's aid. He tried not to think of how almost immediately Officer Lane had lunged to cover Spock from the force that the entity used. He knew enough about the registers at the head of the beds to know they were both going to be fine, that they were both resting. As he stood quietly looking at them he half-smiled as he could tell from Spock's relaxed facial features he was in a Vulcan trance and McCoy's deep and steady breathing reassured him that he was in a deep sleep. How easily he could have been looking at two bodies. Slowly he walked into the space between them and took one of their hands in his and just stood thinking how they were a trio, how much they relied one needed each other, and how much they cared about each other.

"They won't be awake for another few hours," M'Benga came behind him. "Soon as they are awake I will let you know and they will be discharged almost immediately as they are not ones to keep in longer than need be."

Kirk had nodded. "They do have their own ways of letting you know they are fine and no longer need to be in Sickbay."

For a moment Kirk just looked at the entrance to the intensive care unit and felt a hand briefly touch his shoulder, "There's been no change of any real significance and I do not expect there to be as whatever it was that attacked those on the bridge took its full vengeance out on him. Some sort of an extremely high energy attack, almost electrical in nature from what I could tell from the damage, that would be like an all-out assault on his entire nervous system. Clearly whatever it was was after Mister Spock and when Lane prevented them from getting to his head there are indications it tried to get him to move by pressure to the various points that should have made him move and when Lane did not move it lashed out trying to move him. You can see his muscular spasms have not lessened and his scans are unlike anything I have ever seen on a patient who has remained alive this long. Officer Keller is with him now."

Slowly Kirk walked over to the bed and signaled for Keller to sit when he started to stand. The quiet moans and twitchy movements of the body reflected the spikes in the pain register. As he watched he remembered McCoy had once commented that he had an extremely high pain threshold level, almost as high as Spock's. The thought of either Spock or Bones being there. He stopped himself and looked at Keller, "You know him well?"

Keller looked up at him and Kirk saw a knowing smile, "Who doesn't know him? Maybe not as well as we may know others but I doubt if there is any of the crew, and I know there are over four hundred of us, who has not had some encounters with him. If ever any department is short an officer for the day or even a few hours and he is off duty he will be there to help. He always seems to have a small gift for any crewmen's birthday. He always brings back, from shore leave, things the whole crew could share. He is one of those people you can go to with a problem and just talk with, or yell at and even strike, and know it will never be talked of again. I guess I know him as well as just about anybody else on the ship, Sir." The man looked back at Lane then back at him, "Permission to ask a question about another officer, Sir."

For a moment Kirk was taken aback as seldom did officers ask first, "Certainly."

"How is Lieutenant Uhura dealing with it? I mean I know they are close friends but the fact that he was not meant to be on the bridge, that it was her shift, must bother her. Is she okay?"

Only then did he remember Uhura asking him if Lane could relieve her for two hours of personal time and him giving her permission. He remembered Lane arriving and Uhura just getting into the turbolift as the thing suddenly appeared on the bridge. Lane saying, "Go!" and pushing her into the lift as the entity touched Scotty, then Chekov, then Sulu, then him, then McCoy, then Spock when he attempted to draw its attention from McCoy, before it concentrated on Lane as he challenged it, as he got it away from them, as he protected Spock. The way it had touched them all on the head indicated it was after their minds and somehow Lane and noticed that in those few seconds and, Kirk briefly closed his eyes and shook his head as in his mind he saw it again, seemed to simply launch over from the Communications Station to tackle Spock, knock him to the ground and huddled over his head blocking any access to his head, his mind.

He remembered how the entity had been when it first arrived on the bridge and how it was when it was attacking Lane, there had been a distinct feeling of intensely concentrated rage, hostility and determination radiating from it and an obvious more aggressive form of energy used with more and more tentacles extending from the form and attacking Lane. The nearest thing that Kirk could equate the next change to was when the entity seemed to realize it could not move Lane and that if they killed him his body would block they access to Spock. There had been a moment when Kirk was sure the entity had experienced a feeling of surprised acquiescence and almost one of deep sadness and regret just before it left. There had been something in the way a tentacle had reached out and lightly and briefly touched Lane's face before it left, almost like an apology.

"She is doing okay. I am watching her and she has the support of the bridge crew as well as the rest of the crew."

"Do, do you want time with him alone, Sir?"

"No, thank you. I, I will come back later."

Briefly he paused to again look in on McCoy and Spock, thanking again all the known deities for them being safe, and then went to the bridge. Before he arrived at the bridge he paused the lift as the word **_Coward!_** echoed in his mind. He shook his head, he had his duty. _Yeah, hide behind the duty mantra, **coward.** You would have spent time if it had been Spock or McCoy._ No! He took some deep breaths. He had to stop thinking that it could so easily have been Spock on that bed or dead. As he stepped from the turbolift he was aware of the others looking at him, "There is no change to Officer Lane's condition. Both Mister Spock and Doctor McCoy are sleeping and expected to make a full recovery and be able to return to duty shortly."

"There was a message from Starbase Nine, Captain."

Kirk turned and looked at Uhura who looked right back at him and Kirk knew it was not new orders, yet.

"It was to confirm that the entire crew has a four day leave before you are given our next orders." He was about to nod when he saw it in how she was looking at him, there was something else.

"What is it Uhura?"

"I, I took the liberty of acknowledging it, arranging and sending them the rosters of those who would be on leave and of what the new supplies we need. I thought you would be with them longer."

Kirk smiled to himself, Spock often thought of McCoy as a mother-hen but Uhura as the real one. She had done the mundane tasks he tended to put aside. "Thank you, Lieutenant. Officer Keller asked how you were."

She smiled and nodded, "I thought he would be with Darren. It is his break. I have had to roster that as well. So many wanting to help and only one is allowed in at a time at the moment."

Usually he would notify the crew but he just nodded and sat down, relieved Uhura had obviously done it for him. Four days leave. The crew needed it. Even before the encounter they had with that entity they had had a hectic mission out to Outpost Twenty-two with much needed equipment and then helping install it and ensure it was working correctly. Being a diplomatic shuttle to one of the, to Kirk, not vital get-togethers, and a bit of testing some new equipment on the Enterprise. They had had a mild virus spread through the crew that was found to be easily dealt with and caused by a malfunction in the food replication system. And then, eleven days later, that thing had attacked them.

They had encountered life forms that could somehow exist in space and just slip aboard the ship as though it was not a solid object. Most of those encounters had not been as suddenly hostile, not as selective an attack. Yes, it had been selective. All on the bridge had complained just before of slight headaches and then it appeared, a floating ball of webbed energy. A tentacle would flare out from the mesh and momentarily surround the head in a yellow haze for just an instant as thought searching for something. At least it did that to all of them but Spock. It was when a second tentacle had flared out at Spock that Lane had hurled himself to protect Spock. That thing had assaulted him with at least twenty tentacles and possibly more yet he had not yielded. Just those few seconds that he had experienced the power from one tentacle let Kirk know the power behind that thing and left him in the haze of the worst headache he could remember. The thought of all those tentacles attacking Spock. No. That did not happen. The entity left.

From watching his young navigator, the strange alertness about him, Kirk knew the signs. He could remember being the same the first time he was in deep space and the unexpected had suddenly happened. It had not been as traumatic as what had just taken place but he could remember how he felt afterwards.

"It has gone, Chekov."

"But we did not know it was there till it vas here. It just was here then not here. No warning, no indication of anything unusual out there? How do we know it will not be back?"

"Our mission is to explore, discover, befriend, help, and report. I am sure we all signed on knowing the dangers but we wanted to be out here. This is the territory of the unknown. To whatever is out here we are as much an unknown as they are to us. I got the feeling whatever it was that came aboard the ship was testing us, possibly to see how we would react, possibly thinking we were invading its space. Whatever it was it was clearly after knowledge about us. I am not sure what it had encountered before but I believe it attacked each of us to see our reactions, to see if we would retaliate, and to see what knowledge we had. When it sensed we meant it no harm but were willing to die to protect one another it seem subdued, almost surprised."

"I may be wrong, Captain, but I think it was more than just one entity. I felt like I was being attacked by at least ten or more different sensations of pain."

"I noticed how the form was multi-colored and at the start it was ablaze of reds and yellows with what seemed lightening then, after, after Darren drew its attention to him, after it had concentrated on him for a few minutes, it started to wane and went to a pale greenish blue then vanished." Uhura still looked at Kirk. "I think what Darren did surprised it, them. He did not fight them, just blocked them from getting to Mister Spock. It was like it had not encountered one willing to die for another or another who is from a different race."

Kirk nodded more to himself than the others. They had seen it too. The way Darren had kept it from getting to Spock. The way it exhausted its energy on him trying to get to Spock's head. How it had seemed to change color and clearly was using more energy and although Lane twitched in pain he made no audible sound and did not move away from the huddle he was in over Spock's head. He did not want to think of the pain Lane had been in, and obviously still was in, as he remembered, like Sulu, that there had been different levels and types of pain in just that touch. The touch around the head and neck.

Chekov turned and looked at him, "As per regulations is Darren to be taken off the ship and left at Starbase Nine, Captain?"


	2. Chapter 2

Without looking around Kirk knew the others on the bridge were looking at him, waiting for his answer. "If it is deemed he needs further medical treatment beyond what is available on the ship he will remain on the ship and we will take him back to the main Federation hospital on Earth unless Mister Spock believes Vulcan healers would be best."

He saw Sulu momentarily lower his head, "Protecting Mister Spock, taking that much pain, that much energy from it. I only had a bad headache from that brief contact."

"It was like hot fireworks in my head."

 **"** **No!",** they all turned and looked at Uhura, and saw her shake her head and saw how she looked directly at Kirk, "No, Sir, he will not go to Vulcan as I would not be allowed to stay with him on Vulcan. He cannot go there. He, he would be alone."

"Uhura, do you really, really think Spock would leave him alone there?"

"He would not want to but he would have to. He would have to leave him or he would have to leave the Enterprise." She looked steadily at Kirk and Kirk saw the certainty in her. "I think we know how he will feel about what Darren did to protect his mind as that was what they wanted. I think you all had, like me, a severe momentary headache as it just touched me and brief dizziness when it left. The feeling of something trying to attack my mind. Imagine what it would have been like for Spock." Uhura kept looking at him and he really heard her even though she did not speak out loud, " _Imagine how they could have left him and we know how long Vulcans live."_

It was like a slap. The one thing Kirk had not thought of was how things would be if Spock decided to take Officer Lane to Vulcan and stay with him until, until what? How would his friend feel if Lane were to remain in that state? He knew his friend well enough to know he would feel an obligation to Lane for what he had done as he had often said that life without sentience and sufficient logic to enjoy all it embodies is no life. He was sure that the Vulcans had a special facility for those whose minds were gone but whose bodies still lived: they did not believe in euthanasia. That is how Spock would have been left, according to what M'Benga had not openly said. What if he did leave the Enterprise? They both knew he had amassed at least a year's leave. A year. What if that turned into. NO!

"Best speed to Starbase Nine, Sulu. I am sure the crew will enjoy the time off the ship."

"Aye, Sir. Course holding. Estimated time is now one hundred and seventy-four standard hours. Mister Scott is doing a check of all the systems after our encounter. When that is complete I will be able to give you a more accurate time, Sir."

"That's fine, Sulu. You have the con. I'll be in my quarters."

He went by Sickbay on his way to his quarters and saw another crewman with Lane and was relieved to see both Bones and Spock still resting. M'Benga came over to him, "Spock should be waking before Leonard. For some reason the Vulcan healing trances work faster and more effectively than our methods."

For just a moment Kirk looked at the man and knew that by not mentioning Lane meant there was not change. He nodded his thanks and went to his quarters.

He gave his computer a cursory glance. That damned report could wait one hundred and seventy-three hours more. Somehow he could not just sign Lane off. Spock would most likely call it an illogical human reaction and Bones would just call it a human reaction. All his training and all he had done before was telling him he had to do it, that it was how it was done,. So often he had been told that on a starship everybody had a fixed duty and each duty had been proven by Starfleet to be the best and that there were set patterns to follow. Each rank and position had their special area and while some leeway was allowed was given for officers to do related duties there was to be nothing too far outside the parameters established and set for each line of duty. Lane with Communications and not Security and that was, Kirk knew, well beyond the established boundaries. it was a difference that Kirk knew would not be accepted by the higher echelon as it the duties were too far different, too specialized.

He lay on his bed and knew of all the times he had pushed against those parameters as the Captain of the ship, the number of times he had had informal reprimands for some of his actions and a few that were on record. How clearly he heard the words drummed into them at the academy about how vital it was in deep space that all officers stayed within the confines of their assigned postings so that others would know the limits to their postings and the smooth operation of the ship could be guaranteed. That might have been fine when Starfleet and Federation were established and might seem fine to those who did not sail out here, Kirk thought. Out here, out here things were not as neat,, tidy and organized as back in regular space areas. Out here it is sometimes necessary to be able to work at more than just one post and many of his officers could easily work in related postings. Lane, though, was with Communications and not have had any knowledge about nor training in the duties of Security yet of all on the deck at that time he had been the one to react, he had done what a Security officer would have done.

Or would they? Anyone who had experienced even the few seconds he and the others had of the power, the ferocity the total barbarity of the mental attack from that entity would not have just reacted as he had. Kirk remembered seeing that Lane had been the first to be subjected to power and had seemed stunned but had been the one to charge at Spock as soon as the thing started to attack him. As though in slow motion he remembered seeing Lane almost effortlessly lunge over the railing, knock Spock down, and huddle over his head while that thing had tried to get to Spock's head.

An icy old shiver seemed to go right through him as he thought again about that look Uhura had given him and that which was unsaid. He did not even want to think of a life without Spock and that is what it would have been had Lane not done what he had done. Oh, Spock would have lived but with no mind. He would have been shipped off to that special facility on Vulcan where he would have been kept alive in that state till he died. Grateful for that he sighed and relaxed even more as now all he had to do was help his friend accept that Lane had to be transferred. It was the correct thing; it was the required thing to do. Again Uhura's words came back to him when they had spoken of Lane getting help from the Vulcan healers and how Spock would react, _"He would have to leave him or he would have to leave the Enterprise."_ While his immediate response was that Spock would not leave the Enterprise, would not leave him, he knew his friend too well and knew that to him what Lane did was beyond his duty, beyond logic, and beyond price _._ He would find a way to make Spock stay. He just had to think.

"Captain Kirk to Sickbay." M'Benga's voice jolted him out a deep sleep and as he rushed to Sickbay he cursed himself for falling asleep so easily and at such a time.

Spock stood confronting two security guards positioned between him and the intensive care unit.

"Captain, while it is pleasing to see you are uninjured it would be appreciated if you could tell them I have permission to see for myself how Officer Lane is."

Kirk glanced at M'Benga and saw the doctor shake his head, "Spock started regaining consciousness and I thought it best to keep him from being in with Officer Lane until you had spoken with him about the situation."

"Thank you for alerting me. Spock, we need to talk. Not here but now."

"I need to see Officer Lane, Captain. I just need to go in for a moment and will not say a word nor will I touch him. I will just go in, see him, and come back and talk."

It had been that near pleading look that Kirk saw when he looked, really looked at his friend's face that had him nod, "It is imperative you say nothing, Spock. Do not say a word."

"Thank you, Captain."

M'Benga was quiet till Spock had walked away then looked at Kirk and whispered, "You have to tell him the truth about Lane's condition and likely outcome."

"I will tell him what we know of as of now, Doctor. I may not be a doctor but I have seen enough happen to know that we do not know what we think we know about things. I am sure you have too." Kirk had watched as his friend walked over to the bed and stood, his hands gripped together behind his back, for a moment looking down at the trembling body, at the registers, back at the body, nodded to the officer who was sitting with Lane and walked out.

On the walk to his quarters Kirk felt relaxed, almost as he usually was when walking around the ship with Spock beside him. Almost as there was something about the way Spock was walking that let him know the Vulcan mind was working on some complex matter. While watching Spock beside Lane's bed Kirk had seen it start: there had been that flash of guilt and blame that was from Spock's human side and then he had seen the Vulcan side claim him and start his mind finding a solution to the problem.

Once inside his quarters Kirk looked at his friend and nodded, "You seem none the worse for the experience we had. It is good to see you are out of Sickbay." From how Spock was looking at him Kirk knew the Vulcan could read him and know the unsaid.

"It was a most unusual sensation, Captain. It seemed like an attack on my mind, one I could not have lasted long at. They were intent on taking information from the minds of those they came across. It was an ethereal collective driven to always learn more and to do so without concern for the damage they do to the minds they invade. I remember sensing twenty-nine beings trying to reach deep in my mind then being flung to the floor by Office Lane, him saying nine words in my ear, and then only his body trembling and shaking over my head and upper shoulders till I woke in Sickbay. I am fully aware that I could not have lasted much longer against them."

"They, they rendered you,"

"No, when Lane said the words I immediately closed my mind so it was not damaged."

Kirk was stunned yet relieved that Spock had had time to save his mind as he had been sure that it had been the attack had had some impact on him. "You said he said nine words."

"Jim, he was in pain, they were brutally attacking him for saving me. He said _I've got you, they're safe, you're safe. Trust me_." Just for a moment Spock closed his eyes and Kirk saw a haunted look when Spock opened his eyes and looked directly at him. "I felt what they did to him, I could do feel what they were doing to him while he protected me. I did nothing as it would have opened my mind. I did nothing." He closed his eyes again, shook his head, and was silent.

Almost afraid to do so Kirk carefully put a hand on his friend's shoulder, noticed how it reflected the tenseness he saw in his friend, the self-loathing and rage, and gave it a light squeeze, "You did the right thing, Spock." When Spock remained still with his head bent his eyes shut and quiet Kirk gave the shoulder a firmer squeeze, "Spock?"

Spock let out a long sigh and looked at his friend, revealing for but an instant what he had at his deepest part and saw in Kirk's reaction he had seen it. He saw the reflection of it on his friend's face. If he had been asked what he saw when he looked at Spock when the Vulcan opened his eyes the first word that came to Kirk's mind was hell, he had seen a Vulcan version of hell. He could not remember ever seeing that so clearly in the Vulcan and it was frightening. Regaining himself Kirk again squeezed Spock's shoulder, "You alright, Spock?"

"I am physically unharmed but I am having difficulty accepting not only what Officer Lane did but, more importantly, how I allowed it. I felt his pain intensifying and I, I did nothing," he looked directly at Kirk and saw understanding, as he always did, there, "I, I was terrified, Jim. The one thing almost all Vulcans secretly fear is life without logic, without thought, and that was what I would have been like had he not done what he did. There is a special facility on Vulcan where Vulcans who have suffered total loss of their mental ability are housed. Not so much housed as kept. They are looked after as one does a pet but they are not visited nor are they spoken of. Seldom have I felt such terror, allowed myself to acknowledge it as terror. I wanted to help him, Jim, I wanted to do something but I, I," Spock lowered his head and closed his eyes as he felt shame welling in him, "I was too terrified to do anything but stay still and, and hope he would keep them away from me."

Kirk put his other hand on Spock's other shoulder, "It was his choice, Spock. Before any of us could move he had you protected."

"When he first knocked me down I was afraid it was you and then he said " _they're safe_ " I knew he meant the bridge crew, when I thought of what was happening I was, was relieved it was not you and then," Spock struggled to control the cauldron of emotions he was feeling, "then my only thought was wanting whoever was on me to keep me safe all the while knowing that it meant their death to do so."

"That's a normal Hu,"

Spock closed his eyes to control his emotions, took a deep breath, opened his eyes and, as he looked at his friend, a weak smile briefly touched his lips, "But I am not totally Human, Jim. My mind, my logic, my very way of surviving is Vulcan. I have always prided myself with being Vulcan more than Human but in that moment, in that moment when I should have thought of him I thought only of myself and my own life. In that moment I knew what it feels like to be Human and Vulcan at the same time. The Human was afraid of death of the body and the Vulcan feared death of the mind. When Doctor M'Benga said he was still alive I had to see for myself that he lives. I had to see for myself what had been done to him."

"I understand that, Spock. I just have to finish the paperwork on transferring him off the ship and into a proper facility."

Kirk heard a gasp from Spock and saw an eyebrow quickly raised as though in doubt, "You, you would transfer him so soon? You would have him transferred when Doctor McCoy has not had the opportunity of examining him? Was there some specific reason it was imperative I not say a word t him when I went in?"

"I have tried to find a way, any way to keep him on the ship but I have found nothing. There are so many classifications that could be used to have him taken off the ship but nothing that justifies keeping him on the ship. I was hoping you and Bones could help me find something, some thing or word I have overlooked. Uhura seems to think he is aware that somebody is with him and she is the one who believes he is holding on till he knows you are safe so I have instructed the crew that they are not to mention you when they talk to him. It must seem illogical but I am willing to try anything, anything to help him, to keep him on the ship. I owe him that much."

Spock nodded, "If I were to call on my Human half I would say that I have much more to be indebted to him for. I failed him as a senior officer for not protecting him and I failed myself as a Vulcan for allowing my own fear to cost such damage to another being. Jim, if we are unable to find some gap in the regulations I will take him to Vulcan to see if the healers can do something."

Kirk could see there was more, "Spock?"

"Jim, Lieutenant Uhura may not be wrong. Just watching Officer Canling in there with him I noticed a slight variance in the pain register when Officer briefly released his hold on Officer Lane's hand. I do not know whether saying my name would or would not have an effect on his status but if she believes that to be the case until he has been examined by Doctor McCoy perhaps it is best not to mention my status. There was a variance, Jim. Extremely slight but there."

"M'Benga never mentioned any variances."

"Doctor M'Benga is a fine doctor, Jim, but the variance was very slight and only for a moment but it was there." As he looked into his friend's eyes he saw certainty yet slight doubt, "Jim, Doctor M"Benga is an excellent doctor but not at attentive nor alert as Doctor McCoy. The variance was minimal and momentarily but it was there and I know that Doctor McCoy would have noticed it had he been monitoring and would not only have thoroughly investigated what caused the variance but been on high alert for any recurrence."

Kirk nodded. At times, when his Chief Medical Officer and First Officer were engaged in one of their rather heated discussion-cum-debates, he knew that anybody who did not know them would think they were enemies but the truth was they were fiercely loyal to one another and had great faith in the other's abilities. It had even taken him some time to realize that they both needed that verbal flaring to release their inner tension and each knew the other accepted it as just that. He had also seen how they had often used such verbal battles to come up with a solution to a problem one or the other or both were having.

"That's why I have not finished my report. I want both McCoy's and your reports on the events as well as to help find a way to help him and keep him on the ship."

When Spock was quiet for some time Kirk looked at him and noticed how he had his lips and knew he was debating with himself about something. A slight now then, "Jim, you are not just anxious to keep him on the ship because you feel indebted to him in any way, are you? Although I do not personally know much about the man from what Lieutenant Uhura has told me about him he would deeply dislike being here if that were the case."

"I will not deny that part of it has to do with the debt I owe him on a personal level but I need him on the ship as he is as fluent as Uhura in as many languages but with some different languages and is the only other person on this ship, apart from yourself, who understands most forms of non-verbal communication." A vision of Lane and Scotty returning from an unfriendly planet with a piece of equipment they both later made work for the ship and help them escape, "He has also helped Scotty on many occasions to either secure parts for the ship when we were told they could not be helped modify what we had to do what was needed."

Spock nodded, "Should he fully recover I have several matters I wish to clarify with him about some of his actions regarding such matters and find out more about a form of manual communication using one hand that he is most conversant with and that has some correlation with some of the gestures used on Vulcan."

Taking a deep breath Kirk looked at his friend and asked the question he was afraid to hear the answer to, "And what if he does not fully recover, Spock? **What will you do** if he remains as he is?"


	3. Chapter 3

"You know only too well, Jim, that while I do not believe in **what if** situations my actions will be based upon the status of his recovery." there was an exchange of understanding smiles and nods, "As I have said should he fully recover I will have taken an active role in his recovery as well as his future placements on the Enterprise." Spock closed his eyes for a moment and Kirk could tell from how he bowed his head that he was thinking of something that he was unsure how to word when he looked up Kirk saw the certainty and conviction in the eyes and about his friend's face, "Jim, should he remain as he is I would have a Vulcan healer examine him and should the prognosis be that he would remain as he is **I will take the necessary actions** to help him in the way he would want should it not be stated on his medical records."

 _"_ _I will take the necessary actions to help him in the way he would want should it not be stated on his medical records."_ Echoed in Kirk's mind as he looked at his friend, slowly accepting what they meant and seeing the determination in his friend's eyes. Slowly he nodded knowing full well what saying what he had to say meant, " **You would not** , Spock. **We would**. I would help you take those actions."

"Jim, I could not,"

Kirk gave his friend's shoulder a reassuring grip, " **I would help you** take those actions. I not only would owe it to him but I would not, could not, let you face any changes alone."

As broad a smile as Spock would allow himself flashed across his face as he straightened, "Captain, we may yet find such actions unnecessary if that slight variance I saw continues to increase and improve. It could be an indication of minimal awareness this early after such an assault. Such a reaction would not usually be expected this soon in a Human who has suffered the damage it is obvious he did."

 _Instead of me_ , Kirk heard the unsaid as he nodded toward the door, "Do you feel like checking the bridge before seeing how Bones is doing?"

As soon as he stepped onto the bridge the Vulcan felt the tidal wave of warm emotions engulfing him as the crew briefly looked at him. They nodded, smiled, and then returned to paying attention to their stations. Slowly Spock walked over to the Science Station but motioned for the officer there to remain as he turned to Uhura, "Officer Canling is with him now."

"Darren used to go on a lot of hikes with him on different planets. It is good he is there although if he starts reminding Darren of some of their exploits he better do so quietly as I think a few of them were not as per regulations."

Spock nodded, more and more recollections of his dealings with Darren Lane were coming back to him. There had been eight different things that had been stolen from Vulcan over many millennium that Lane had "obtained" for him through various slightly devious means, the time spent trying to learn Vulcan, and so often taking Uhura's shift so many times when they were at a base or station so that she could accompany him to something they both wanted to see when Jim either could not or did not want to go to. The times when he had taken her station. Had he not been there.

"He would not want you to think of that, Sir." Uhura's words were soft as though she knew what he was thinking and remembering. "Now I may take a very long time to forgive him for shoving me into the turbolift like that and taking my place **but you better not let him know of any guilt**. Darren knows what he is doing and he knew what he was doing then. He did what he felt was right, what was the right thing to do. Right now he is just waiting for his mind to, as he says, switch back on. I think he is trying to switch it back on but it is not ready yet to be switched on."

A part of him wanted to correct her and point out that the mind, even a Vulcan mind, was not a machine that could be turned off and on. He wanted to point out to her that when it stopped functioning the being died but he stopped. After all the years of working with her he had developed a quiet understanding with her whereby she would not overly correct him for being too exact and he would not overly correct her for being emotive in her speaking.

Kirk had come over and stood looking at her, "What makes you say that, Uhura? What makes you think he is trying to switch it back on?"

"Forgive me for being irrational, gentlemen, but I am sure he is aware we are there. I could swear he knows when somebody is holding his hand and he knows when we let go, I know he does." she smiled up at Spock and only just missed seeing the look Kirk and Spock exchanged, "I know it is illogical, Mister Spock, but he knows we are there. He just cannot make his fingers move much, yet, to let us know but I know him. I know how he would often say that he had switched his mind off and was just working by patterned routine, by what used to be termed automatic pilot, and would switch it back on when it needed to be fully operational."

Both men looked briefly at each other for a moment, each remembering sitting by the other just waiting, then Kirk said, "Lieutenant, I will arrange for a relief for you as I believe you are needed elsewhere at the moment. Should a situation arise you will, however, be required to immediately return to your station, understood?"

The answer was on her face before she said, "Oh, yes, Sir. Thank you."

As Uhura left Kirk glanced at Spock, who had taken the earpiece from Uhura and was checking all channels, but looked briefly at him and said, "A wise decision, Captain. I am sure that Officer Lane will appreciate the Lieutenant's presence."

"I did it for the efficiency of the ship, Spock." He watched an eyebrow slightly rise, "I cannot have a crewmember on the bridge whose full attention is clearly not given to their station and it was clear to me that Lieutenant Uhura's full attention was not being given to her station."

"Well stated, Captain. I assume that will be what you record in your log entries for the day. I also assume you will mention that she went directly to Sickbay for a check-up so as to not make it seem that the Lieutenant became so distracted by recent events she was unable to quickly regain her composure and professionalism enough to carry out her duties."

Momentarily Kirk cursed himself for forgetting that there were those at Command who would read, no, more, hypercritically scrutinize, the log entries looking for any hint of a fault, no matter how slight, in the crew, in his crew, in his captaincy. He had forgotten that somewhere back in Command was a collective that thoroughly revaluated every word used a group of which no member had ever been out beyond standard orbit, a gathering with no idea what it was like to face the vast unknown the way he, the way **they** did. "Yes, Spock I will be certain to mention that."

After eighty-seven point three minutes had elapsed with nothing unusual occurring Spock looked at Kirk who was just staring out the main screen then walked slowly over to him, "Captain, I will ask Officer Flemming to relieve me and then you and I should go see how Doctor McCoy is doing."

Kirk looked up at his First Officer and smiled, "Concerned about him?"

"Not concerned, Captain," Kirk head the unsaid " _Must you state the obvious."_ as Spock slightly tilted his head, "It just seemed somehow oddly discomforting to be here on the bridge after such an event without him also here haranguing either one of us or both of us about taking unnecessary risks although the situation, this time, was beyond our control."

Once Officer Flemming had relieved Spock and Kirk had given the con to Sulu they went down to Sickbay to find McCoy standing behind Uhura with his arms crossed tightly across his chest which, to both Kirk and Spock, was an indication the man was in deep thought in with Uhura holing one of Lane's hands in her's and talking to him about events in the past as well as what was happening.

"And then you told that senior officer that if he did not take his hand off my arm it would be the last thing his hand would ever feel. The look on his face as you just applied a bit of pressure to some point on his back. He was frightened. None of his group ever caused any of us trouble after that. As usual when I went to thank you, no trace of you as you had gone off on some crazy course to learn more about something most would think useless or a waste of time, I would say all but no doubt Mister Spock would think like you about learning something only he possibly does not see the fun and challenge in it that you do.

"I am sure they will come and see you later to get your report of what happened but I will be with them so that they do not tire you out as I want to deal with you about pushing me the way you did. Oh, I can understand it, you wanting to make sure I was safe, but you had no idea what it was or what it would do. I had not even properly officially handed over the station to you."

With a nod of his head McCoy indicated to Spock and Kirk that they should move out into his office. "Nice of you two to make an appearance. M'Benga did tell me he had kept you regularly up-dated on how I was doing; something about what the two of you would do to him if he failed to do so. Maybe you two can get her to face the real possibility that Lane might remain how he is, that this might be as much of a recovery as he will make. I have tried to get her to understand that we have never dealt with anything like this before but that in all similar cases this is as far as the patient has recovered."

"When we entered you appeared to be deep in thought, Doctor McCoy. Was there any specific reason?"

"For a moment I thought that there was a minute fluctuation in one of the registers but it did not happen again so I,"

"Has Lieutenant Uhura always been holding Officer Lane's hand?"

"No, there was a moment," McCoy looked at Spock.

"That co-related to the fluctuation in the register?"

Almost as one the two of them left Kirk in their wake as each went to a different side of the bed, "Uhura, let go of his hand for a moment, now."

There was an almost stillness as the two men looked from the monitor to each other then back at the monitor, "Please again briefly release his hand, Lieutenant."

"What?" Uhura's voice reflected the same blend of hope and fear that Kirk knew he was feeling.

"Uhura, has there been any movement of his fingers or has he opened his eyes?"

"If he had opened his eyes I would have told you immediately and Doctor M'Benga explained to me how he would have twitched in his fingers."

McCoy looked at Spock and saw the reflection of his own thoughts, "You had doubts about that?"

"With all due respect to the medical profession, Doctor McCoy, I know he is trying to talk with me. I am sure he knows I am here. He keeps signing O K when I tell him about something he may find interesting or a question he might want answered."

"Fascinating. A possible indication of some cognizance which would be logical as you do have a long established relationship with him if I am correct."

Uhura looked at Lane's right hand that lay on his chest. Very slowly the fingers bend over and the thumb pressed the forefinger's nail then the middle and index finger extended with the thumb between them. Without a word she looked up at Spock who nodded slowly, "It is a slight indication of some awareness. Again it was just two letters. To be certain that he has not sustained,"

The right hand shook then made a fist with the thumb over the index finger, the thumb then touching the curved middle finger with the index finger extended upright, the fingers bend over and the thumb pressed the forefinger's nail, four fingers curled with thumb extended in a curl, and then the middle and index finger extended with the thumb between them. There was a pause and the hand shook then the fingers bend over and the thumb pressed the forefinger's nail then the middle and index finger extended with the thumb between them.

All three: McCoy, Kirk, and Uhura, suddenly looked at the First Officer as he had taken a deep breath. McCoy could not remember his Vulcan friend looking so openly shocked, Kirk had seldom seen Spock so visibly shaken and Uhura looked from the now still hand to the Vulcan and clearly saw an almost Human look of shock and surprise on a face that was usually expressionless.

"What is it, Mister Spock? All I understood was an O and a K twice as I am still getting familiar with the one handed standard manual alphabet."


	4. Chapter 4

"If memory serves he, he spelled out **my name** , Miss Uhura. And then the letters O and K. Clearly he is aware that you are here and wanting to know if I am okay. Some time ago he showed me the one-handed Standard manual alphabet as I curious as to its similarity to certain hand positions used by Vulcans."

Uhura nodded and took the still hand in her own, "Yes, Mister Spock is here and he is okay. He, the Captain, and Doctor McCoy came to see you and to have a cup of coffee with me in the rec room." Uhura stood and gripped both Lane's hands, "I will be back later. You rest. We will talk later." She quickly kissed his forehead and turned to face the men as a nurse came in and took one of Lane's hands from her then placed a hand lightly on Spock's arm, "Shall we go, gentlemen?"

In the rec room they sat quietly for a moment each just looking at their coffee, their thoughts their own. Kirk wondered about how he was going to keep such a disabled man aboard the ship and how he could thank him for saving his closest friend. He had felt but a small portion of the energy that that thing used; he had felt the all-consuming pain that seemed to paralyze every part of his being. All he had been left with, to start with, was the worst headache he could remember having and, for a short time, a fear that his vision was impaired as the color of the bridge seemed to change, almost like it was filled with a gas, and as the color faded so did the severity of his headache. He did not want to think what Lane would have experienced and be experiencing because of his actions in protecting Spock and, ,most likely, the rest of the crew.

McCoy wondered about the wonders of the human mind, to somehow find a way to communicate like that through all the pain and then wondered about the past Lane and Uhura must have shared. It was obvious that there was a link there that somehow penetrated the pain his body's spasms and tremors as well as the monitors revealed, a link like Kirk and Spock had and yet he could not remember seeing them together as much nor as often as the First Officer and Captain. He knew there had to be a connection there as he knew that only through having a close connection with each other would Lane have been able to let Uhura know he heard her.

Uhura was just filled with the wonder of having her friend back; of knowing that he would fight as it had started with only the letter "O", then got to "O" and "K" to let her know he understood and then when Spock said he had spelled out his name she knew he would fight back, would come back to her. While she did not remember how or when she met most of the people she knew she remembered meeting Darren Lane. To be accepted to be on the Enterprise and in the Communications area Starfleet was holding special testing and selection sessions and she had just missed getting her application in on time by two minutes. She had just sat at the terminal trying to control her fury at herself; she had wanted the application to be perfect and had taken too long in checking it and making minor adjustments to it. When she saw the "Applications have closed." flash on the screen it felt like a death, a death of a long-held dream. Others had seen her sitting but had not said anything and she just sat there. She had just sat and looked at those three dream killing words and put her head in her hands to stop herself from crying out. There had been a strange awareness of another's presence that made her look up and saw two friendly eyes looking at her, heard a friendly voice say, "That'll help restore a cool head." and saw a bottle of frosted water being held out to her. He had walked her to a café and got her to talk about her dream. They had talked about the different languages they both and individually knew and of their dreams. As he had left he had said, "Dreams and friendships only die if you let them."

She looked at her almost empty coffee cup. They did not see each other again for about two years but so much had changed. Three days after their meeting she was contacted and told she had been selected to attend an assessment for a position on the Enterprise in Communications. When she got to the center where the assessment testing was to be held she had been told that Darren Lane had withdrawn his application saying he was satisfied with his present role and that she would be a far better candidate and had attached her application. She remembered how, as he had been talking to her and she had been drinking her iced water, he had done something to the computer. She remembered how he had been standing, how, how he would have been able to reach the keyboard. Then they had met up again on the Enterprise and while she had wanted to thank him he had just smiled at her, "We're both living our dreams." Over the years they had talked of many things but not of him giving her his place. The way he had come back into her life then seemed like a sign that they would be friends and she knew, she just knew no matter what Spock, Doctor McCoy or any of the medical experts and specialists said, she knew that Darren would come back to her. All she had to do was be there for him, be there when he was came back. He had let her know **he was coming back.**

To almost all but the three with him there was a total Vulcan at the table with three Humans but his friends knew that he would be thinking of not only the mathematical possibilities of Lane improving and the approximate length of time till Lane would recover but also about what had happened. As Spock looked at his friends he was thinking not only of Lane's improvement possibilities and what had happened but also was coming to terms with that irrational Human fear that had seemingly had a physical effect on him in that he could not move. No. No, not that he could not move but he **would not** move. He had had but a moment, like the others had, of initial contact with that force when Lane had intervened. It had been almost a malevolent force seeking information without reason and without care. There had been a ravenous hunger for information with seemingly little regard as to neither what was taken nor how it was obtained. Even in that briefest of touches of his mind he had felt the power and the almost uncontrolled ferocity of that power and he had known panic and fear. In that briefest of touches he had been aware of twenty-nine separate entities wanting to strip his mind of what it held. All those decades of Vulcan training deserted him and his Human side had shown itself with the fear. No, remembering that fear was felt by Vulcans over very few things calmed him. Fear of loss of control or one's mind was the main fear. He had, at that moment of contact and realization of what was occurring, been both Human and Vulcan. He had been what and who he was meant to be.

As he looked at his friends he wondered at how they had been able to deal with such fear, how they were able to continue as normal after such an unsettling emotional experience. He marveled at their resilience as, for possibly the first time, he realized what they dealt with so many times and had overcome it so readily. Neither the Human nor the Vulcan side of him was not aware of the slight nod of his head as he had allowed himself to imagine his Vulcan half was asking punar-tor (generally accepted or not subject for dispute) and his Human half pausing then agreeing to accept the situation. Slowly he accepted what had happened and what he planned to do in the future to assist Lane. He had accepted that Lane's actions were **not** those of a junior officer protecting a senior officer but of a man whose very nature was to protect and serve others. Through a brief moment of contact as he settled himself under the protection of Lane he had heard the man's inner voice saying to him, " ** _I've got you._** _ **Trust**_ _ **me**_ _."_ He started to calculate the time factor and physics related to when and how Lane had managed to get from where he was on the Bridge to being on top of him on the floor but stopped. It had clearly been purely an instinctual reaction by Lane, to protect another being.

Protect. One word that had penetrated his mind along with an awareness of the pain levels he felt radiating from Lane. While he had, in his mind clearly heard Lane saying to trust him he also heard almost a chant echoing deeper in Lane's mind, the word "protect" repeated over and over. If he allowed the whimsy of McCoy to influence a thought it would be that the word protect was his heartbeat. Lane's reaction was the only action the man could have taken. Gradually he acknowledged and accepted that now he had to help Lane adjust to whatever his actions had brought upon him: it was something both his Vulcan and Human side agreed upon. He now had to protect and serve Lane in every way he could.

"Do ye mind if we join ye?" it had not surprised the others when Scotty, Sulu, and Chekov walked over to their table each with a cup of coffee. As he sat down next to Uhura the Scotsman looked at Spock, "Tis good ta see ye up and with us, Sir. That beastie sure wanted ta get ye. How's the lad?"

"It is good to be with you, Mister Scott. Officer Lane has shown some cognizance but the true and lasting extent of it as well as the other injuries is unknown at this time." None of them missed the suppressed guilt in the voice of their friend but knew to mention it would only embarrass the Vulcan for it would reveal his emotional side.

Sulu shook his head, "I keep trying to figure how he got from where he was, over the barrier, and on to you as he did. Must have vaulted but I do not recall him doing that. I remember seeing him yelling at Uhura to get out then he was covering you."

"I did not see that. I was trying to see where it was then it was attacking him. It had changed color. It was angry."

"Aye, ye could see it twas angry. With us twas not so dark but the energy used on the lad must have been a mite more than we all had."

"A significant mite more, Scotty." McCoy looked at his almost empty cup of coffee and let out a slow breath as he, too, remembered the energy the entity had used, "A significant might more."

"Does he know both you and Mister Spock are safe?"

"Yes. He knows."

"But how? You just said,"

Spock finally looked at the others in a relaxed manner, "Doctor McCoy knows, Mister Scott, because he used an old form of manual communication using one hand to communicate. He, he spelled out my name. I had expressed an interest in such methods of communication as there are some that have totally different meanings to Vulcans and although I have not mastered using it I was able to read what he was signing. There is irrefutably some basic cognizance there. Although he did suffer substantial damage on my behalf there is still some awareness and understanding undamaged."

Uhura nodded, "I have been talking to him and, from time to time if I am talking about something I know he may like to know, he has signed OK, he must remember that I find the one hand alphabet difficult to remember. He would like you three to visit him when you can."

"I agree that he would welcome the company but it may be best to let him rest a day or two more." McCoy looked at the others and then at Spock, "I will maintain the limit of time a person spends with him to ensure he gets sufficient rest. There is still no real indication of what damage was done to his memory."

"Ye will let us know when,"

"Scotty, as soon as I know he can deal with more than Uhura being with him and the occasional visit from the Captain and Spock I will let you all know. Just give him a bit more time and my medical teams to thoroughly test him."

"Then you think how he is is how he may remain?" there was no escaping the concern in Sulu's voice.

"With his latest action, spelling out Spock, there is a slight possibility that damage was not as severe as first thought but only time will tell as our initial findings and Doctor M'Benga's reports on the immediate readings on all our nervous systems after the attack showed in each of us a momentary disruption and period of shock resulting in the headaches we all had. The attack on each of us was minimal compared to the attack on Officer Lane." Again McCoy looked at Spock, "You did say it was very difficult to learn that manual communication, you could be,"

"Doctor," momentarily Spock hesitated as he looked into blue eyes and realized his friend trying to spare him from any more of the pain and blame his Human side was experiencing, "I did not say it **was very difficult** thing to learn, I merely stated that I have not yet mastered it largely because of the similarities between some of the gestures and what the gestures mean in Vulcan culture. I know that he spelled out my name as not only did I learn the gestures required for it but also from the reaction Lieutenant Uhura received from him. There is **a slight awareness** there."

Kirk had sat listening and now looked at those around him. He had heard and seen their determination to keep Officer Lane on the ship, he had seen it in others who had sat with Officer Lane in Sickbay, and, if he was honest with himself, he wanted to keep the man aboard for personal as well as professional reasons. "I want a few minutes with McCoy and Spock in my quarters and the rest of you are to go get some sleep." Kirk looked at his Communications Officer knowing she would be about to protest, "That getting rest **includes you** , Lieutenant Uhura. I am sure Doctor M'Benga will contact us if there is any change."

In his quarters with his two closest friends Kirk looked at them for a moment in silence. He tried not to think had there had been a possibility of neither or only one of them coming fully back. The power of that entity had effected them the most and then Spock had had to deal with seeing Officer Lane as he was with the knowledge that Lane was like that because of saving him.

"Okay, Jim, what is this really about?"

"I find I agree with the Doctor, Captain. I am at somewhat of a loss as to why you would want to see just us as you will require reports from the others as well."

"But I need the help of you two, in particular, in finding a way of keeping Lane on the Enterprise now that it is apparent there is a possibility of him,"

"Jim, it is too soon to know for certain if he will improve any more than his present state. He has been in his present state for," McCoy looked at the quiet Vulcan by his side, certain that the Vulcan would know exactly how long.

"Officer Lane has been in a state of semi-awareness and able to communicate with a one-handed Standard alphabet for just over one hundred and forty-six minutes." Spock looked at McCoy, "I am not sure that is exact, Doctor, but from the information I have been given I believe that approximation is sufficient for this conversation."

McCoy rocked for a moment on his heels so desperately wanting to say how shocked he was at the Vulcan's inexactness but stopped as he realized how traumatized his friend must have been by the ordeal to not give an exact time to at least the sixth decimal. "That is true, Spock, but it is also true that he was able to spell out your name after so long only just signing OK. I will reexamine his charts regarding his vocal cords and those parts of his brain related to speech and do more scans to see if there is any damage or if, as Uhura says, he is waiting for it to switch back on."

Spock steepled his index fingers and pressed them to his lips for a moment then nodded, "Projecting what I suspect you are alluding to as a hypothesis for his recovery then in approximately one hundred and fifty-nine point seven four one hours he could be able to communicate orally as well as manually. While it is unusual for Human to be able to, as Lane has told Lieutenant Uhura, stitch his mind off and on, it is not unusual for some highly skilled Humans to be able to rest their brains by concentrating on something as common as their heartbeat or breathing. It has been recorded that some Humans who practiced meditation for many years could do so. I was not aware that Officer Land practiced any form of meditation. From what I read of his records he would not be a being to typically indulge in such relaxation. It will be most fascinating to discuss it with him when you think he is ready for such conversations."

"Those conversations will have to wait, Spock. He will no doubt be very confused after all that was done to him. I will let you know when I believe he is ready for anything but the basic 'how are you doing' type of visit."

Kirk had just sat watching his two friends and saw and heard the respect they had for one another that they would not openly express. "And what of his return to duty, Bones?"

McCoy looked at the floor for a moment then directly at his friend and Captain, "If we go by Spock's projections I would expect him to be able to return to duty in Communications in about seven standard days as there was no serious physical injuries apart from severe bruising to his legs obviously from landing as he did on the deck." Spock turned his head quickly to look at McCoy who looked back at him, "Relax, Spock. I did not mention it to you as while they are severe they are not life threatening and his time in bed with the right treatment will see there is no pain and they will promptly heal."

"On considering the momentum that he must have used to get to me I had expected some physical damage. I recall being mentally attacked at my station and staggering in pain to be just down by the end of the Captain's chair then a physical impact of substantial force. I have no doubt you will give him your usual high standard of care."

"Okay," Kirk had seen too many of their on-going discussions to not know that this could be one of them about to start, "I will do no more on my report for another six standard days."

"Captain, are we not due at Starbase Nine in just over seven standard days?"

"Yes, that's why I will file my report in six days. We have six days to find a way to keep him on the Enterprise that will be accepted by Command." He turned to his computer and showed McCoy and Spock the draft of his report. All three knew that Command frowned upon senior officers sharing their reports, especially after such encounters, but Kirk felt it only right that his two friends see how he had reported what he had experienced.

"Well, Jim, seems you and I had about the same experience with what whatever that was. I thought the same too, that it sought non-specific knowledge and that it was more than just one whatever it was. To have a headache like I did the thing had to have been in all parts of my brain and having tug-of-war over whatever information they found."

"I find I agree with you both on the insatiable hunger for indiscriminate information. In those brief seconds it attacked me I was aware of it having almost a need to gather all the information it could, that the collective of entities lived on the consumption and sharing of knowledge." Spock looked at McCoy, "Your description of the sensation of their method of gathering information was fanciful it was, in fact, the sensation I experienced at that time"

Kirk and McCoy looked at each other then Kirk looked at Spock, "What do you mean by at that time? Was there another time when you had a sensation from them? It?"

"I am uncertain if what I sensed at the time was incorrect but momentarily after it stopped attacking Officer Lane I experienced what I can only describe as a stillness in my mind as though all the damage done was being repaired for me. It was a most unusual sensation. Did either of you experience such a feeling?"

Again Kirk and McCoy looked at one another and it was obvious that they had also had that feeling. "You know I first had the granddaddy of all hangover headaches then there was a second or so when the bridge seemed a different color and I blinked and found I had just a mild headache."

Kirk sat for a moment, remembering those few seconds after the entity had attacked Lane, the way it had been so still, there had been a great lessening in the headache he had and the whole bridge seemed to swirl in a different color, then that one tentacle had touched Lane as though asking for absolution, then vanished. "You, you think the entity tried to fix what it had done?"

"Perhaps not so much fix, Jim, but minimize the damage." McCoy nodded, "Doctor M'Benga did state that all our first scans showed some minimal variances but the second scans one standard hour later were normal."

"Absolution," Kirk muttered.

"What?" both McCoy and Spock said in almost perfect unison.

"It was just,"

"Sickbay to Captain Kirk."

For a moment the three just looked at each other then Kirk reached out to his com unit, "Kirk here."

"I think you three should get down here, **now**."

"On our way." even as he finished speaking Kirk saw the look the other two gave him and it as though the one thought united them, " _Too soon_." and he wondered if they both thought as he did that it was **too soon** for Lane to either recover or die. Both of them would know, as well as he did, that Lane was in critical condition despite what all indications. Too quickly a patient can die. And it was far too soon, by both Spock's and McCoy's calculations, for Lane to be aware of much more than he was.


	5. Chapter 5

Outside the door to the Intensive Care Unit M'Benga stopped them, "He's still with us. Started mumbling saying what I thought was pain, it sounded like an OU but then I realized he was wanting Lieutenant Uhura. I possibly should have contacted you first but he was restless and has calmed since she got here

"She got here," Spock paused and both Kirk and McCoy looked at what Spock was looking at, one of the beds in Sickbay had clearly been slept on, "Am I correct in assuming the Lieutenant was already in Sickbay?"

"She said that the Captain had order her to rest but had not specifically said it had to be in her quarters and she would prefer to be close to him. As we have no patients as the moment I saw no reason not to allow it. If you want to put me on report I fully understand, Captain."

"No, I am sure both Doctor McCoy and Mister Spock will agree with me that you took the right action. So, Officer Lane is improving."

"Go in and see but let him be in control. He still has a very long way to go and will push himself unless you three let him know he must take it easy and let his body tell him when he is ready."

When they walked in Uhura was holding Lane's hands, "The Captain, Doctor McCoy, and Mister Spock are here."

"Sp, Sp,"

"He is here," Uhura moved and indicated that Spock should take her place, "I'll be near."

Just for a moment Spock hesitated while he steeled himself for physical contact with Lane then he took Lane's right hand in his , "This is Spock."

"O, kay?"

"Yes, thank you."

There was a slight movement of the hand in his as though trying to get away, "No, you, feel, hurt."

"I will come back. You need rest."

"It, fix?"

"Yes. Now, you must rest," Spock wanted to say so much more but briefly looked at those around him then gripped the hand firmly, "You must rest as we will need a report from you."

"O. kay. It, went, hap, pee. La,y ter."

"Yes, I will come back later."

"Good."

As the hand in his relaxed Spock looked at the monitors and heard McCoy say, "That's good, Spock, he has finally gone into a deep steady sleep without medication. I think that is what we all need to do now. "When none of the others moved McCoy cleared his throat, "I said I think we all need a good sleep and I do not want to make that a medical order for any of you three."

"And I do not want to have to make it a medical order for you, Doctor McCoy. I will contact you if there is any change."

"You know, I wonder how he knew it left happy. How could anybody make something like that happy?" McCoy shook his head as they neared their quarters.

"I am fairly certain that it would most likely have been some information that they obviously wanted." Spock looked at Kirk, "You said absolution before we went to Sickbay."

Kirk nodded, "Just a random thought as to why the entity stopped and left as it did. I just hope he can and will tell us what he told them. He does not have any knowledge about Starfleet that they could use against us but I agree with Spock, there was something. But we can wait. For now it is enough that we are all safe and well and about to get some much needed sleep."

As they slept a deep healing sleep far out in space a swirling mass was assimilating the information it had recently revived. For as long as any member could remember they had gathered information by seeking out the most intelligent of any species they encountered and took directly from their minds the knowledge they held. They had never encountered resistance until they had been prevented from direct access to the mind of a half-Vulcan. When they first encountered the vessel they had sensed that only the half-Vulcan would have the knowledge they sought. They had touched other minds and found what they already had but they knew that Vulcanoids were more intelligent than Humans.

There had been no ill-will in the mind of the one who had prevented them from accessing the Vulcan's mind. Even with their combined efforts the Human would not release the Vulcan, would not expose the Vulcan. They had stopped when they realized that even with the damage they had done to the mind the Human still would not let go of his friend. Friend. They had not encountered such an action before. Before it had always been where all were just senior officers or fellow officers. The Human had made it clear that he would die before he let them near the Vulcan's head and mind. It was only when they pushed harder and deeper into his mind that they realized that he would, in fact, die to protect this being so different from his own kind. Even in all the pain he had not called that one a fellow officer nor a senior officer, which was what they had encountered o often before and was expected, but a friend. He had called one so different from himself a friend. A friend he would die for. Most unusual. For one so different from the other to be willing to die for them had not been encountered before. They had often encountered one species was often more than willing to offer another species to them in their place.

It was agreed they had enough new knowledge, more new knowledge than they had expected, and while their way had always been to leave with the knowledge without assisting those from who they took it this had been different. This being freely gave the knowledge and more in exchange for leaving the others minds as they were and his in a state it would recover in time. Usually they had encountered strong resistance from those with such knowledge but this had been a strange conflict in the way the Human was fiercely protecting the Vulcan but freely giving them the information, freely answering questions, blocking the Vulcan from feeling his pain by repeating, "Trust me."

The only thing that the Human they had gained the information from had asked was that before they left they restored the minds of the others they had invaded. Nothing for himself. Never before in their collective memory had there been such a one. As they prepared to leave they made one last contact with the Human, both to check how severely they had damaged him and to ask for forgiveness, a request that was immediately granted. With the help of those he had helped he would recover, it would take at least what was termed a Standard year before his skills would be as they were but they were content that they had not severely permanently damaged one who so willingly gave them so much information.

They were most excited as they had two new species to investigate that the Human had named, ones like Vulcans. Kingons and Romulans. They would investigate their knowledge and leave all Humans and what was called StarFleet and the Federation alone.

 **\- - - FIN - - - - -**

Thanks for reading - hope you enjoyed it.


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